Bill and I started dating seriously almost right away. Shortly after I met him, we were both talking about our future together. I had no doubts about Bill. I knew I wanted to marry him. I still recall the day he proposed to me. We were hiking on the Niagara Gorge, then suddenly Bill got down on one knee and asked me to marry him. He took me by surprise. I do recall that in that moment I felt like my heart had wings and that it was flying. And of course I said, “yes!”
Bill’s mom Leonor wanted us to have a proper wedding. So, she offered to pay for and organize it. We were both happy to have her handle that responsibility. The only thing was that because it was a more formal and costly wedding the guest list was limited to about 100 people. Coming up with the guest list was very stressful for me. You see because my mother had nine siblings and most of her siblings had children. I have many aunts, uncles and cousins and I could not invite all of them.
The only thing Bill and I had to worry about was writing our vows for our wedding and selecting our wedding cake. That was our most favorite thing to do. We ordered our wedding cake from Sweet Tooth which was a local bakery and ice cream shop. They ordinarily didn’t make wedding cakes, but Bill and I were regular customers, and the owner agreed to make it for us. The topmost cake was our favorite which is banana cheesecake with chocolate ganache. That cake was the most delicious option at Sweet Tooth. Sadly, Sweet Tooth closed a few years after our wedding day.
Another fun part of the wedding was selecting the deejay. We went with someone who had a lot of experience doing weddings. He knew what to play to get people to start dancing. Happily, there was a lot of dancing at my wedding.
I remember that I went to a relatives wedding, and I didn’t like what I saw. Our side of the family, the Puerto Ricans were on one side of the room and the bride’s side of the family the Caucasians were on the other. Each side kept to itself and there was no intermingling.
My family and Bill’s family are very different. My extended family is mostly comprised of Puerto Rican working-class high school graduates. Bill’s side of the family is Caucasian upper middle class and educated. I wanted everyone to get along. I didn’t want an invisible line down the center of the room. I asked my friend and fellow young women’s division member Sarah for guidance. She encouraged me to chant about it. I did chant about it for many days. I chanted for everyone to get along and have a good time.
At the wedding, I was more worried about everyone else. I wanted our families and friends to have a great time. Like a butterfly I fluttered from person to person engaging them in conversation and gaging whether they were enjoying themselves.
Bill’s aunt Kit is an actress, singer and dancer. She has been a part of show business for decades. She offered to sing at our wedding. I did feel a little bit anxious about that because I had never heard her sing. It turned out that I didn’t have to worry about because she had a great voice. She was dressed in a blue sequined dress, and she looked fabulous. Everyone loved her singing and she received a loud round of applause.
People were intermingling at my wedding. My prayer had been answered. There was no invisible line separating the groom’s side from the bride’s side. Everyone was socializing and enjoying themselves. I know that both of our parents were very happy. Bill’s mom Leonor was afraid that Bill would never get married, and she was delighted that I saved him from his bachelorhood. My parents were ecstatic that I had found a nice young man to marry. My parents are old fashioned and approved of Bill because he would “take good care of me.”
For the past 23 years Bill and I have taken good care of each other. Bill has been by my side through good and bad. He had been there for me even as I struggled with madness. I once told him that he was Harry Potter and to get on his broom and fly away. In that moment Bill was upset with me, but he never ever gave up on me.