Over the years, I developed many friendships in the SGI-USA. When I first started practicing Buddhism I was in the Lakeshore District. The district leader Laura always encouraged me. She was a great support during my moments of madness. She herself struggled with depression her whole life, so she knew what it was like to deal with mental health issues. During my youth, she was one person that I knew I could count on.
With the passage of time Lakeshore District grew enough to be split into two districts. They became Buffalo South and Peace Bridge. I ended up being in Peace Bridge District. My friends Carrie and Jennifer were the new district leaders. I was very close to both. Carrie and Jennifer were very supportive of Bill when I decided to drive westwards. I am so thankful that they were able to support him during a very difficult time.
When I was in Brainerd, Minnesota I did not feel safe. I was out of touch with reality and very paranoid. Sometimes I really distrusted Bill and thought that he was out to get me. That is one of the sad things about struggling with schizo-affective disorder. It does demonstrate some characteristics of schizophrenia and the paranoia and delusions that can accompany it do feel very real. My husband is very kind, gentle, generous and patient. In my right mind, I would have known that all he wanted to do was support me. But I was not in my right mind and sometimes thought he was guilty of abusing me, when nothing could be further from the truth. In fact, when I was in Brainerd, I thought of leaving him. I am so very glad that I did not follow through with that. It would have been one of the worst mistakes of my life.
From the start of my practice, I was very well taken care of in my district. I always received a lot of support from the women’s division. Many of them looked after me. They were always willing to chant with me and offer me guidance when I needed it.
Supporting others, became an integral part of my practice. I remember early on in my practice I supported an older Japanese woman, Rena. She didn’t live too far from me, and we would often chant together. She also introduced her daughter-in-law to the practice and sometimes I would meet with both. I was so sad when Rena passed. She was only in her 50s and she died of a heart attack. I also had another opportunity to support a Japanese member. Yoko is the pioneering member of Buffalo. She was the first person to start practicing in our city. Without her efforts early on, none of us would be practicing today. We owe her a tremendous debt of gratitude.
In fact, we all owe a tremendous debt of gratitude to the Japanese women who married American servicemen and moved to the United States. Many of them were homesick and wanted to return to Japan. However, they had a mission to spread Buddhism in America. I am also eternally grateful to Ikeda Sensei. He was our third president and passed away two years ago. He had a vision of people practicing Nichiren Buddhism around the world. His mentor Josei Toda shared his dream with him. Toda had dreamed that he was in Mexico and told Ikeda Sensei that they are waiting for us. When Daisaku Ikeda decided to travel to the United States on October 2, 1960, many of his fellow members that the idea was crazy and that he should focus his efforts on Japan. But fortunately, Ikeda Sensei had a much broader vision. He travelled to the United States and encouraged those war brides who came to the United States. Because of him, they all came to know about each other. They now had a network of support and were no longer practicing in isolation.
My practice of Nichiren Buddhism with the SGI-USA has had a transformative effect on my life. Part of my mission is to spread Nichiren Buddhism and to tell people that recovery from schizophrenia is possible. There are so many people who are given a poor prognosis. I had a friend that was told, “you will never work again.” She ended up being the Director of the Mental Health Peer Connection for over 20 years. It’s not okay to write people off. It’s not okay to be a destroyer of hope. Everyone has a buddha nature. When we unite and practice Nichiren Buddhism together the possibilities are limitless. We are the purveyors of our own destinies. We don’t practice to make the possible possible. Anyone can do that. We practice to make the impossible possible.