Today is Monday, November 10th. I am currently at my parents’ house in Longwood. I flew here Saturday morning. I had come to see my family. I especially wanted to see my uncle/godfather. He was doing very poorly, and I wanted a chance to see him while he was still alive. I have today, Monday and Tuesday off from work. I planned on leaving Friday morning.
I was working late on Thursday night. I called Bill when I was on my way home. He told me that he thought I had bought an airline ticket to Fort Lauderdale and not Orlando. He said there was no flight to Orlando at 6:45am on Friday, but there is one to Fort Lauderdale. I had another ten minutes before I would arrive at home. As soon as I got home, I changed my ticket. Unfortunately, there was no longer a flight from Buffalo to Orlando on Friday, and so I would have to leave Saturday morning instead. So, I thought I would be off on Friday, and I went into work.
Friday night I could not fall asleep. I went to bed early, but sleep evaded me. I needed to get up at 4am. My Uber was coming at 5:15am and my flight was at 7:45am. It was very frustrating not being able to sleep. It could have also been excitement and anxiety that was keeping me up. I did get up at 4am. I did a little bit of final packing and then tried to chant. It was hard for me for some reason. Usually, I can focus when I chant, but that morning my thoughts were scattered.
I got to the airport in plenty of time to check in and get through security. I was flying via Jet Blue which is my favorite airline. I was in group D. I was thankful I was not in group E or F. I would be able to take my carry-on with me and not be forced to check it in for lack of space. There was a ½ hour delay, but that was not too bad.
My plane arrived at 11am. My dad picked me up and drove me home. He did say that there was something we needed to talk about but that it would wait until we got home. We got home and that is when my mom told me that my uncle passed away at 5am that morning. I burst into tears. It seemed so unfair. I missed my chance to say goodbye to him. My sister, mom and dad and I were supposed to visit my uncle Friday. My sister had taken the day off from work. They decided to go anyway since my sister had arranged time off. When I thought about it some more, I thought, I couldn’t say goodbye, but the people that I love were able to. I was really glad that my sister was able to see our uncle before he passed. I was helpful in making that happen, so for that I was grateful. Also, my mom and dad also had another chance to see their brother and brother-in-law.
We also had a chance to see my other uncle who is facing some health challenges. My mom, dad and I went to my cousin’s house. He was having a family gathering. I was so happy I was able to see my uncle. I gave him a hug and told him that I loved him.
Every day I chant for my family. I have been sending chanting to my uncles and their wives. I love my family. I remember when I was a little girl, maybe 5 or so, I wanted to draw my entire family. I started crying because I wanted to draw all my aunts and uncles and I could remember all of them. (My mother is one of ten.) My teacher said to me, “No, I mean your nuclear family.” With those words, she negated my concept of family.
I spoke to a friend who has been practicing Nichiren Buddhism for several decades. She shared something with me that I found comforting. She said while our relatives may be gone from us physically, their spirits are always around us and that the spirit is so much stronger than the body. She also said that our ancestors will always find us.
I do believe that my uncle and I will cross paths again. The last time I saw him was at my parents’ house. My last memory of him, is a good one. He was still my Tio.