Today is Wednesday, February 4th, 2026, and it is 9:07pm. I am writing a little bit later than usual, but that’s okay. I am glad that I am starting my writing tonight because tomorrow I publish. I am writing from Florida. I am here for a few days visiting family. My sister just returned to Germany tonight. It was so good to see her. She will actually be returning in August with the rest of her family. They will stay for about four weeks. I plan to take some time off from work. It will be wonderful to see all my nieces and nephews again.
I have been trying to work on my boundaries lately. I know that I am not the best about them. But I feel like this is something I can improve. I am seeing my therapist regularly now. I am reading the four agreements like she suggested and it has been very helpful. I have not finished reading it yet. I have read about the first three agreements, which are: Be impeccable with your word. Don’t take anything personally. Don’t make assumptions.
After reading the book, I realized that I was very guilty of the second and third agreements. Don’t take anything personally and don’t make assumptions. I do have a tendency to take things personally. After reading the book, it helped me to learn that even if someone is saying very negative things about you, it’s not really about you, it’s about them. I am also super guilty of making assumptions. I make assumptions about why someone is acting in a certain way. I tend to assume that if they are acting like A, then the reason for the action must be because of me. This is actually very self-centered. The person acting like A or B, isn’t thinking about me at all. They are acting like A or B, for their own reasons. To assume that I am the source is arrogant.
Unfortunately, I was recently in a situation with a friend, where I took things personally and made all these assumptions about why they were acting the way the were. I was convinced that their actions were about me and that my assumptions were in fact true. Now, I feel embarrassed about how I acted. I need to apologize to this friend. I should not have acted the way I did. I acted the way I did, based on both taking things personally and making assumptions.
I think when I apologize, I will keep things simple. I will say that I am sorry for having the conversation with them, that it didn’t need to happen and that I had acted based on taking things personally and making assumptions. I don’t need to get into what I took personally nor the assumptions I made. I think that doing that would get make me feel worse and upset them. I must chant for the wisdom to approach them in the right way. There will be a larger Buddhist meeting the first Sunday of March. I think they are likely to be there, and I will try to approach them then. I will chant for their happiness before we have our dialogue. I had wanted to apologize last Sunday, but they weren’t at the meeting.
I am listening to Cold Play now, as I write. It is about half past nine right now. I woke up fairly early this Thursday morning. I had breakfast, coffee and hung out with my parents for a little bit. My mom is almost 80 and my dad is 82. I know that I am very lucky to still have both of my parents. I have a few friends who have lost one or both of theirs. I am 57 and they are both alive, so I am very fortunate. I chant for my family every day. I chant for their happiness. I think for the most part my family is doing well. We may have struggles with certain things, but overall, we are doing okay. I am certain that my chanting does make a difference. I have faith that my chanting of Nam Myoho Renge Kyo has a positive impact on my family and everyone I care about.
I am still determined that 2026 will be a great year. I am looking forward to working on Lisa Maria Cruz! I am studying more and trying to have a self-reliant faith. Although of course I do think it’s important to share my recovery story. I am living a great life while thriving with schizo-affective disorder and for this I confidently talk about my recovery to break down stigma and give people hope. And if someone can have a better recovery through reading about mine, then I would be eternally grateful.