Today is Tuesday, February 24th, 2026, and it is 5:09am. I was having a hard time sleeping, so I just got up. I did a little bit of reading from Unf*ck Your Boundaries by Faith G. Harper. I have decided that I am going to take my time reading this book. Sometimes, I can read a book too quickly. But with this book, because of the subject matter, I feel like I need to nibble bit by bit and digest slowly.
I was not taught good boundaries growing up. I don’t blame my parents. I don’t think they were taught good boundaries, nor were my grand-parents and great-grandparents and etcetera. I know that many people don’t know about boundaries. I certainly don’t know enough and that is why I am reading this book. My former therapist had recommended the book several years ago. I bought the book, read a few pages, and then abandoned it. I am ready to read it now. I am ready to work on my boundaries. I know that right now they are not great, but because of my faith in my Buddhist practice, I know that I have the power within me to change this.
I am confident that I will be a person with healthy boundaries. I know what boundaries are and I know that other people have boundaries too. It’s very important to respect our own boundaries and respect the boundaries of others. If you set a boundary and don’t stick to it, you can find yourself in a situation where someone is running all over you. Unfortunately, I know this from personal experience. I was supporting someone who had no boundaries. And I have a difficult time setting boundaries and this person doesn’t know they exist. This was not a recipe for a healthy relationship. When I tried to set boundaries, I was inflexible.
In this relationship, I was always the problem. They did not assume responsibility for any part of their life and always blamed others. I did care about this person a lot, but I needed to take a break. I had supported them for several years and I just couldn’t do it anymore. So, I clearly told them that for the sake of my own mental health, I needed to take a break from them and that was all there was to it. I was very clear. And then I cut off all communication with them.
I blocked their phone number, and I blocked them on social media. Unfortunately, they found a way to attempt to communicate with me. But they have been unsuccessful. They call me from all these random numbers with the hope that I will pick up and I never do. Whenever I see an unknown number on my cell phone, I never pick up. If I continue to do that, I will maintain my boundary. Obviously, they don’t respect my boundary and continue to try to contact me.
But I am determined to uphold my boundary and never pick up the phone when I see an unknown number. I must maintain rigid boundaries with this person. I can’t let them in, at least not for now. I need to work on myself and become strong. I need to become confident with setting boundaries. Setting boundaries is healthy. And yet, when I do set boundaries, I can feel guilty about it. There is a part of me that thinks I am being a bad person. I need to uproot that belief from my life. It will take time to do that. Developing good boundaries, is something that matters a lot to me and I am up for the challenge!
Today is Wednesday, February 25th, 2026, and it is 9:45pm. I am at the opposite end of time spectrum today. Yesterday, I wrote in the wee hours of the morning, because I had difficulty sleeping and tonight, I am writing late at night. Or rather it is late for me. I want to try to be in bed by 11pm at the latest. I must get up early. I got up early this morning and was able to chant an hour in the morning, for the first time in quite a while. It felt great to chant for an hour. I got my day off to a great start.
I had been thinking about the book, The Four Agreements. I looked all over the house and couldn’t find it. When I was getting ready to leave work, I discovered it under a few stacks of flyers on my desk. Surprised, I thought I’d have to buy another copy. Fortunately, it was at work all along. I must finish reading it this weekend, so I can discuss it with my therapist next week.