When I was fired at Diamond Saw Works, I was very upset. Looking back on it, I can see that I wasn’t quite ready for that job. To get the job I had posed as possessing some knowledge I did not have. I think that was where I made my biggest mistake. I should have been transparent about my marketing abilities. I probably would not have gotten the job, but then I would not have placed myself in an undesirable position. I was commuting 52 minutes each way, doing marketing for a company that made band saw blades. Lisa Maria Cruz and band saw blades. For those of you who know me, does that seem like a fit? But hindsight is always 20/20. When I first landed the position, I was overjoyed. I was in the life condition of heaven. I was feeling delight after accomplishing my goal. Unfortunately, that joy was short lived. When I was in a situation where I really needed my practice more than ever, so that I could push through my obstacles, I had temporarily abandoned my practice. As, I had mentioned earlier, even though I had chanted for this job, when I got it, I attributed my success to my own merit and not to my determined prayer for self and others.
I don’t know what possessed me to do this, but while I was living at my friend Heidi’s house, I decided to drive to Albany to study about life insurance to become a life insurance salesperson. I found it interesting, and I did pass the exam. But when I drove back to Buffalo, for some reason becoming a life insurance salesperson didn’t appeal to me anymore. I don’t get why I ever thought I would do this. The job would entail going door to door and trying to sell policies. I decided to not follow up with the job I had at Combined Life Insurance. I had paid a considerable amount of money for that training so that was money down the drain.
I signed up with some temporary agencies and started working on temporary job assignments. I knew that sometimes a temporary job can lead to a real one. I was working one temporary assignment after another. The assignments kept ending and I was starting to get discouraged. Then while I was reading the want ads, I saw a position for a mobility counselor. It was to help people with section 8 vouchers to find housing. On a whim I applied for the position. I did get an interview. I brought my writing portfolio with me and showed it to Mr. Kim. Mr. Kim knew the advisor of the Spectrum, the University at Buffalo newspaper. I was a good reporter. I imagine Mr. Kim probably called Mr. Katz about me. I did end up getting the job. And that was the beginning of my career in working in the not-for-profit field.
When I first started my job at Housing Opportunities Made Equal, I was paranoid. I didn’t trust some of my coworkers. For some reason, I really distrusted Kathy. This paranoia lasted for several weeks. Somehow, I did eventually work through it. I was chanting at this time although my practice was still kind of inconsistent. It would take years for me to develop a consistent practice.
When I was in the young women’s division, I was asked to be a district leader for Lakeshore District, and I said yes. There was a young woman I was supporting. I would drive over to Kelly’s apartment about once a week to chant with her. It was a little bit of a commute, although not like driving to Chaffee. I enjoyed chanting with her and supporting her. I also went to our World Peace Meetings once a month. Our old community center was on Virginia Street. I was often asked to do Byakuren. At the time, I agreed to do Byakuren, but honestly, I didn’t see the point of it. Doing Byakuren is taking care of the members, making them feel welcome, finding them a seat if needed, taking care of some needs that might pop up. At this point in my life, I did not value participating in Byakuren duties. However, this was something that thankfully would change.